Monday, August 13, 2012
i need u
I believe "I need u" not "I love u" are the most powerful 3 words in the world
The are times 1 person evokes the two emotions in us ...that is "emotional nirvana". Other times two different people generate the two responses.
My opening sentence was designed to catch your attention not to start an intellectual debate over emotions.
My purpose for this piece is to begin to explore human dependence on other humans.
I find it to be an intriguing paradox that most humans ask for freedom and independence but in reality we aren't free from each other. My guess is what we truly seek is the freedom to choose who to be dependent on.
Its often said that we don't choose who to be born to or when to die but we choose who to get married to and who to be friends with; therefore we put a lot of emotional and logical energy into making those decisions; however when u think about it..don't you wonder why and how you come to choose friends, spouses, girlfriends.? when you really think about it, it seems to be enveloped in this totally inexplicable concept of love and need. The pendulum favors the love bit when the opposite sex is concerned ;)
I digressed a little into this issue of choosing friends and partners because even when humans are seemingly free to chose who to depend on we don't seem to be freely exercising that will (does that make sense?)
Anyway this piece was motivated by my realisation that I "need" certain people in my life. Note this isn't an ephemeral kinda need. I'm referring to the tug u feel to talk to and be with a particular person when u have an issue, when you are in trouble or when you have good news or when you are bored or....u get my drift.
You are truly blessed when this is the same person you seemingly love.
I qualified Love with "seemingly" bcos I don't think I'm qualified to be involved in any debates as to what Love really is and whether any mushy feeling is love, lust or any other related feeling. For this piece love is allll of that ok.
So why is this concept of need such a powerful one? .....
I will start from the very implication of the word "need"....it implies a strong dependency, q requirement for you, not a luxury you can forfeit; like water, food etc.
Is it only the dramatic like me who need people? Or as is oft said every1 needs some1?
I believe its the latter.
Some prefer to go to a shrink, some to their parents, some to friends, others to loved ones (in the broadest sense of the word loved), some to their pastors....whatever your choice may be I believe we all need someone and that love is in its most powerful form when there is a need ( remember ; not an ephemeral kind of need)
If your are reading this ..then I'm sure you are beginning to wonder who is that person you "NEED" in your life :)..if you don't know already.
So how do come to "need" someone who isn't your mother (yup..u guessed right..my mum is the 2nd most important in my life..she was numero uno till my daughter came along)
This is the one question I don't have answers to; we meet hundreds of people and yet we connect with only one or two @ that emotional need level.
Does this occur because the person works towards that?...don't believe so because there are people who no matter how hard they try you don't even want to see them .
Or maybe these are people who think like us ?
Comes down I think to a metaphysical concept, a connection you can't reason out.
It seems we don't even have the "freedom" to chose friends and spouses when you reeeeaallly think about!
So what is the punchline to all this; we all need someone; and when you are in a position where someone needs you; put your shoulder to it and give it your best effort afterall we are all human and we all need someone at somepoint; problem is we can never tell who it is or when or why.
The world never revolves around YOU, help and be helped. The beauty of human weakness is we dont have to be alone.
God in his wisdom when he realised mankind was in "trouble" sent his son. So whiles we pray let's open our arms and hug a friend in need, cos you might be God's physical representative on earth in that moment of need
enjoy and remember I NEED YOU :)
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Ny3333333! trying hard to spell out the cry of a baby as rendered in local Ghanaian dialect
Ny3333333! trying hard to spell out the cry of a baby as rendered in local Ghanaian dialect
The 1st time a man or woman hears that sound from their own seed it's a magical moment. When it comes to childbearing, In Africa we actually find innovative ways to torture people who delay(intentionally or not) or decide not to have babies. It is such a biiiig deal ....but this is the subject of another blog. My focus here is on the actual experience of a having a 1st child seen through the eyes of father.
I don't believe most counseling sessions and friendly pre marriage advice sessions prepare a man for the 1st 12 months of their childs life.
To do this I have to paint a picture for you that will serve as a case study of sorts
Mr and Mrs Asasewura met and courted for 12 months and promptly got engaged; the 1st month of their engagement Mrs Asasewura got pregnant ....therefore @ their Christian wedding ceremony to bless their marriage she was already 3 months gone...yup don't judge
Mr Asasewura prior to getting married scarcely missed a Friday night out with the boys and had this once or twice a month nightclub out routine going. He was also brought to be responsible for his wife with his mum never failing to remind him to constantly go by the cliche "mind the gutter darling". It was no wonder that being the chivalrous young man he was from day 1 of marriage he cut out Friday nights and club sessions.
This break from tradition came with no signs of withdrawal symptoms so Mr Asasewura felt really good and happy about his marriage. 9 months from conception was the birth of Mr & Mrs Asasewura's beautiful baby gal . Mr Asasewura had by this time become a stay @ home hubby, with a close relatioNship with his wife, not surprising Because for the 1st 6 months of their marriage it was just the 2 of them the 4 walls of their new home (except when he had to be at work)
When his wife went into labour he took her to the hospital without breaking the 6 month tradition of just the two of them.
After 48 hours of labour during which he left the hospital for only 1 hour baby Asasewura was delivered, a sweet and chubby baby girl
The 1st 3 weeks passes like a dream....1st week in the hospital went by quickly but the 2 weeks in his parents in law home were too long for him. He wanted his wife back at home with ...none of this customary Ghanaian thing of 3 months stay at her mums to learn the rudiments of baby care and to get grandmas loving care
His wife and inlaws caved in in merely 2 weeks. The elated Mr Asasewura had his wife @ home to himself, Plus of course his chubby and lovely new princess
What follows is what i believe every new couple need to note.
Interestingly the 1st 2 months were tough for both mum and dad Asasewura but fun as well.
The princess woke up every night bawling loudly...somx a milky boob will shut her up other times only carrying her whiles walking around( no sitting, no standing, no lying)
That stabilized and after that the "trial" of Mr Asasewura began
He felt like an outsider or a visitor an unseen one in their home. He had very little access to the woman he had spent every day of the last 6 months with alone @ home
His baby loved booby milk so much that it was never really comfy with daddy
Mummy Asasewura was so engrossed with this novel baby care thing that Mr Asasewura had barely seized to exist. As a good wife his evening meal and other wifely duties were always on point. Mr Asasewura was frustrated to the point of anger,and was beginning to despise the idea of having a child( yup that bad)
He complained bitterly to Mrs Asasewura but at the stage in her life her daughter was her world, and of course the advice of mr Asasewura's motherinlaw ( her mum). Note that since motherinlaws advice was focused on mothering Mr Asasewura felt even more removed from the action.
He tried talking to other people and they looked at him weirdly, almost like...how can you feel like that when its your wife and daughter.
This torture continued for 24 months and by then there was a 3 point relationship..mum and dad, mum and daughter, dad and daughter ...but not all 3 together
The 1st time a man or woman hears that sound from their own seed it's a magical moment. When it comes to childbearing, In Africa we actually find innovative ways to torture people who delay(intentionally or not) or decide not to have babies. It is such a biiiig deal ....but this is the subject of another blog. My focus here is on the actual experience of a having a 1st child seen through the eyes of father.
I don't believe most counseling sessions and friendly pre marriage advice sessions prepare a man for the 1st 12 months of their childs life.
To do this I have to paint a picture for you that will serve as a case study of sorts
Mr and Mrs Asasewura met and courted for 12 months and promptly got engaged; the 1st month of their engagement Mrs Asasewura got pregnant ....therefore @ their Christian wedding ceremony to bless their marriage she was already 3 months gone...yup don't judge
Mr Asasewura prior to getting married scarcely missed a Friday night out with the boys and had this once or twice a month nightclub out routine going. He was also brought to be responsible for his wife with his mum never failing to remind him to constantly go by the cliche "mind the gutter darling". It was no wonder that being the chivalrous young man he was from day 1 of marriage he cut out Friday nights and club sessions.
This break from tradition came with no signs of withdrawal symptoms so Mr Asasewura felt really good and happy about his marriage. 9 months from conception was the birth of Mr & Mrs Asasewura's beautiful baby gal . Mr Asasewura had by this time become a stay @ home hubby, with a close relatioNship with his wife, not surprising Because for the 1st 6 months of their marriage it was just the 2 of them the 4 walls of their new home (except when he had to be at work)
When his wife went into labour he took her to the hospital without breaking the 6 month tradition of just the two of them.
After 48 hours of labour during which he left the hospital for only 1 hour baby Asasewura was delivered, a sweet and chubby baby girl
The 1st 3 weeks passes like a dream....1st week in the hospital went by quickly but the 2 weeks in his parents in law home were too long for him. He wanted his wife back at home with ...none of this customary Ghanaian thing of 3 months stay at her mums to learn the rudiments of baby care and to get grandmas loving care
His wife and inlaws caved in in merely 2 weeks. The elated Mr Asasewura had his wife @ home to himself, Plus of course his chubby and lovely new princess
What follows is what i believe every new couple need to note.
Interestingly the 1st 2 months were tough for both mum and dad Asasewura but fun as well.
The princess woke up every night bawling loudly...somx a milky boob will shut her up other times only carrying her whiles walking around( no sitting, no standing, no lying)
That stabilized and after that the "trial" of Mr Asasewura began
He felt like an outsider or a visitor an unseen one in their home. He had very little access to the woman he had spent every day of the last 6 months with alone @ home
His baby loved booby milk so much that it was never really comfy with daddy
Mummy Asasewura was so engrossed with this novel baby care thing that Mr Asasewura had barely seized to exist. As a good wife his evening meal and other wifely duties were always on point. Mr Asasewura was frustrated to the point of anger,and was beginning to despise the idea of having a child( yup that bad)
He complained bitterly to Mrs Asasewura but at the stage in her life her daughter was her world, and of course the advice of mr Asasewura's motherinlaw ( her mum). Note that since motherinlaws advice was focused on mothering Mr Asasewura felt even more removed from the action.
He tried talking to other people and they looked at him weirdly, almost like...how can you feel like that when its your wife and daughter.
This torture continued for 24 months and by then there was a 3 point relationship..mum and dad, mum and daughter, dad and daughter ...but not all 3 together
They are still happily married and baby Asasewura is a pretty young and intelligent lady who dotes on her father, she scarcely notices her mum, who is constantly jealous of their relationship ( yup tables have turned)
My question couldn't the 1st 24 months have been easier or managed better at least, because the situation painted could have ended much worse, even led to breakup
Some advice I have sought on this issue indicates that the best thing for the couple to do is to be involved together with the baby care.
Apparently this is fairly common advice known to people who have been through this, my question why are issues of money, cheating,sex etc given so much airtime and this most powerful male trauma ( at least according to Mr Asasewura) not given the attention it requires.
Other advice is don't have a baby till you guys have had like 2 years of being together
I'm am eager to hear from any readers out there on views on how to deal with this better and also to hear other experiences.
Thank you for reading, and say a prayer for the Asasewura's and other such couples :)
Spread the word to newly weds and prevent an Asasewura type trauma from breaking up a happy home.
Sent from my iPad
Ny3333333! trying hard to spell out the cry of a baby as rendered in local Ghanaian dialect
Ny3333333! trying hard to spell out the cry of a baby as rendered in local Ghanaian dialect
The 1st time a man or woman hears that sound from their own seed it's a magical moment. When it comes to childbearing, In Africa we actually find innovative ways to torture people who delay(intentionally or not) or decide not to have babies. It is such a biiiig deal ....but this is the subject of another blog. My focus here is on the actual experience of a having a 1st child seen through the eyes of father.
I don't believe most counseling sessions and friendly pre marriage advice sessions prepare a man for the 1st 12 months of their childs life.
To do this I have to paint a picture for you that will serve as a case study of sorts
Mr and Mrs Asasewura met and courted for 12 months and promptly got engaged; the 1st month of their engagement Mrs Asasewura got pregnant ....therefore @ their Christian wedding ceremony to bless their marriage she was already 3 months gone...yup don't judge
Mr Asasewura prior to getting married scarcely missed a Friday night out with the boys and had this once or twice a month nightclub out routine going. He was also brought to be responsible for his wife with his mum never failing to remind him to constantly go by the cliche "mind the gutter darling". It was no wonder that being the chivalrous young man he was from day 1 of marriage he cut out Friday nights and club sessions.
This break from tradition came with no signs of withdrawal symptoms so Mr Asasewura felt really good and happy about his marriage. 9 months from conception was the birth of Mr & Mrs Asasewura's beautiful baby gal . Mr Asasewura had by this time become a stay @ home hubby, with a close relatioNship with his wife, not surprising Because for the 1st 6 months of their marriage it was just the 2 of them the 4 walls of their new home (except when he had to be at work)
When his wife went into labour he took her to the hospital without breaking the 6 month tradition of just the two of them.
After 48 hours of labour during which he left the hospital for only 1 hour baby Asasewura was delivered, a sweet and chubby baby girl
The 1st 3 weeks passes like a dream....1st week in the hospital went by quickly but the 2 weeks in his parents in law home were too long for him. He wanted his wife back at home with ...none of this customary Ghanaian thing of 3 months stay at her mums to learn the rudiments of baby care and to get grandmas loving care
His wife and inlaws caved in in merely 2 weeks. The elated Mr Asasewura had his wife @ home to himself, Plus of course his chubby and lovely new princess
What follows is what i believe every new couple need to note.
Interestingly the 1st 2 months were tough for both mum and dad Asasewura but fun as well.
The princess woke up every night bawling loudly...somx a milky boob will shut her up other times only carrying her whiles walking around( no sitting, no standing, no lying)
That stabilized and after that the "trial" of Mr Asasewura began
He felt like an outsider or a visitor an unseen one in their home. He had very little access to the woman he had spent every day of the last 6 months with alone @ home
His baby loved booby milk so much that it was never really comfy with daddy
Mummy Asasewura was so engrossed with this novel baby care thing that Mr Asasewura had barely seized to exist. As a good wife his evening meal and other wifely duties were always on point. Mr Asasewura was frustrated to the point of anger,and was beginning to despise the idea of having a child( yup that bad)
He complained bitterly to Mrs Asasewura but at the stage in her life her daughter was her world, and of course the advice of mr Asasewura's motherinlaw ( her mum). Note that since motherinlaws advice was focused on mothering Mr Asasewura felt even more removed from the action.
He tried talking to other people and they looked at him weirdly, almost like...how can you feel like that when its your wife and daughter.
This torture continued for 24 months and by then there was a 3 point relationship..mum and dad, mum and daughter, dad and daughter ...but not all 3 together
The 1st time a man or woman hears that sound from their own seed it's a magical moment. When it comes to childbearing, In Africa we actually find innovative ways to torture people who delay(intentionally or not) or decide not to have babies. It is such a biiiig deal ....but this is the subject of another blog. My focus here is on the actual experience of a having a 1st child seen through the eyes of father.
I don't believe most counseling sessions and friendly pre marriage advice sessions prepare a man for the 1st 12 months of their childs life.
To do this I have to paint a picture for you that will serve as a case study of sorts
Mr and Mrs Asasewura met and courted for 12 months and promptly got engaged; the 1st month of their engagement Mrs Asasewura got pregnant ....therefore @ their Christian wedding ceremony to bless their marriage she was already 3 months gone...yup don't judge
Mr Asasewura prior to getting married scarcely missed a Friday night out with the boys and had this once or twice a month nightclub out routine going. He was also brought to be responsible for his wife with his mum never failing to remind him to constantly go by the cliche "mind the gutter darling". It was no wonder that being the chivalrous young man he was from day 1 of marriage he cut out Friday nights and club sessions.
This break from tradition came with no signs of withdrawal symptoms so Mr Asasewura felt really good and happy about his marriage. 9 months from conception was the birth of Mr & Mrs Asasewura's beautiful baby gal . Mr Asasewura had by this time become a stay @ home hubby, with a close relatioNship with his wife, not surprising Because for the 1st 6 months of their marriage it was just the 2 of them the 4 walls of their new home (except when he had to be at work)
When his wife went into labour he took her to the hospital without breaking the 6 month tradition of just the two of them.
After 48 hours of labour during which he left the hospital for only 1 hour baby Asasewura was delivered, a sweet and chubby baby girl
The 1st 3 weeks passes like a dream....1st week in the hospital went by quickly but the 2 weeks in his parents in law home were too long for him. He wanted his wife back at home with ...none of this customary Ghanaian thing of 3 months stay at her mums to learn the rudiments of baby care and to get grandmas loving care
His wife and inlaws caved in in merely 2 weeks. The elated Mr Asasewura had his wife @ home to himself, Plus of course his chubby and lovely new princess
What follows is what i believe every new couple need to note.
Interestingly the 1st 2 months were tough for both mum and dad Asasewura but fun as well.
The princess woke up every night bawling loudly...somx a milky boob will shut her up other times only carrying her whiles walking around( no sitting, no standing, no lying)
That stabilized and after that the "trial" of Mr Asasewura began
He felt like an outsider or a visitor an unseen one in their home. He had very little access to the woman he had spent every day of the last 6 months with alone @ home
His baby loved booby milk so much that it was never really comfy with daddy
Mummy Asasewura was so engrossed with this novel baby care thing that Mr Asasewura had barely seized to exist. As a good wife his evening meal and other wifely duties were always on point. Mr Asasewura was frustrated to the point of anger,and was beginning to despise the idea of having a child( yup that bad)
He complained bitterly to Mrs Asasewura but at the stage in her life her daughter was her world, and of course the advice of mr Asasewura's motherinlaw ( her mum). Note that since motherinlaws advice was focused on mothering Mr Asasewura felt even more removed from the action.
He tried talking to other people and they looked at him weirdly, almost like...how can you feel like that when its your wife and daughter.
This torture continued for 24 months and by then there was a 3 point relationship..mum and dad, mum and daughter, dad and daughter ...but not all 3 together
They are still happily married and baby Asasewura is a pretty young and intelligent lady who dotes on her father, she scarcely notices her mum, who is constantly jealous of their relationship ( yup tables have turned)
My question couldn't the 1st 24 months have been easier or managed better at least, because the situation painted could have ended much worse, even led to breakup
Some advice I have sought on this issue indicates that the best thing for the couple to do is to be involved together with the baby care.
Apparently this is fairly common advice known to people who have been through this, my question why are issues of money, cheating,sex etc given so much airtime and this most powerful male trauma ( at least according to Mr Asasewura) not given the attention it requires.
Other advice is don't have a baby till you guys have had like 2 years of being together
I'm am eager to hear from any readers out there on views on how to deal with this better and also to hear other experiences.
Thank you for reading, and say a prayer for the Asasewura's and other such couples :)
Spread the word to newly weds and prevent an Asasewura type trauma from breaking up a happy home.
Sent from my iPad
Anger....is a fascinating emotion. It's largely considered to be negative by society (and me) but after something that happened to me recently I'm beginning review my thoughts on this. I kinda wonder why I had never bothered to look at it from a different perspective.
Anger....is a fascinating emotion. It's largely considered to be negative by society (and me) but after something that happened to me recently I'm beginning review my thoughts on this. I kinda wonder why I had never bothered to look at it from a different perspective.
Anger bears an uncanny resemblance to fire. An element considered a bad master but a very good servant. Its taken me a while to realize that like fire, anger when controlled properly is a necessary and I daresay positive emotion
So I took a trip into my mental archive to look for moments when anger has provided positive fuels
I have seen footballers perform at their best when something has angered them in a match
Again our Lord Jesus rid his church of opportunists and market place tendencies with his first display of anger
I have seen people consumed by love and act foolishly till anger sweeps away the crippling impact of mushy love and "frees" them
I have seen children, spouses, friends etc translate anger into a will to achieve or succeed. Absentee parents, wrong words exchanged, etc etc are examples of how the spark could be created. Anger in these situations is easily translated into a will to prove the "detractor" wrong or simply show i can do this by myself
So why do we all view anger in only its negative. Truth is this piece is inspired by anger, I am seething within but a calm exterior allows me to channel the energy created by this anger
I think there are different types of anger;
For the purposes of this piece identified 3 main types:
What I call WILDFIRE, burns quickly, powerfully, generates a lot of destruction in a short period . It's weaknesses are that it's obvious, loud and lacks staying power. Usually easy and quick to ignite and short-lived. Usually full of adrenalin, brought on during sporting activities, debates of any kind. Typically masculine
Then the VOLCANO; quite dangerous, unexpected unless the causes are being observed. It could be brewing under the surface for days, weeks, months and when it finally erupts it could last for a short or long period depending on planning. Also destructive and a bit more dangerous because it's activities are sometimes planned. It could erupt unexpectedly especially when the recipient can't take the taunts anymore. Both Masculine and feminine. Also has adrenaline with a bit of thinking behind it
SLOWBURN; deliberate, slow, planned and totally deadly. This type of anger is a paradox because it's patient....it builds up into a crescendo. You rarely or never see it coming, never forewarns you. It's definitely feminine ;)
I believe this is the most dangerous, because it's the most deliberate. Slow burn is interestingly not the reason why "anger" has such a bad reputation because it's usually disguised, however when slow burn results in an action it's usually malicious and negative - but not always- there are situations where slow burn is good because it gives the angry person time to think and probably step off the anger trip. Sometimes the reason for anger is removed or reduced over time
So back to my earlier question; in these 3 definitions does anger have any positivity?
I say yes again because it does the most important job of generating attention. In times of monotony, stubbornness, disregard etc sometimes the right dose of anger properly used and controlled when need be can drive a change in behavior; from your children, your colleagues, friends etc etc
One of the interesting things to note about anger is the moment after....so the moment after could be a minute later, 24 hrs later or much longer depending on how bad :)
However when anger is dissipated what are you left with;
Regret, relieve, pain, calmness or a mix of some of these emotions. This is primarily dependent on your actions and the results of your actions not dependent on the anger itself.
I will end by saying that we should therefore control anger and use it to achieve desirable results and emotions especially when the "moment" is over but by all means be ANGRY sometimes not all the time though
Anger bears an uncanny resemblance to fire. An element considered a bad master but a very good servant. Its taken me a while to realize that like fire, anger when controlled properly is a necessary and I daresay positive emotion
So I took a trip into my mental archive to look for moments when anger has provided positive fuels
I have seen footballers perform at their best when something has angered them in a match
Again our Lord Jesus rid his church of opportunists and market place tendencies with his first display of anger
I have seen people consumed by love and act foolishly till anger sweeps away the crippling impact of mushy love and "frees" them
I have seen children, spouses, friends etc translate anger into a will to achieve or succeed. Absentee parents, wrong words exchanged, etc etc are examples of how the spark could be created. Anger in these situations is easily translated into a will to prove the "detractor" wrong or simply show i can do this by myself
So why do we all view anger in only its negative. Truth is this piece is inspired by anger, I am seething within but a calm exterior allows me to channel the energy created by this anger
I think there are different types of anger;
For the purposes of this piece identified 3 main types:
What I call WILDFIRE, burns quickly, powerfully, generates a lot of destruction in a short period . It's weaknesses are that it's obvious, loud and lacks staying power. Usually easy and quick to ignite and short-lived. Usually full of adrenalin, brought on during sporting activities, debates of any kind. Typically masculine
Then the VOLCANO; quite dangerous, unexpected unless the causes are being observed. It could be brewing under the surface for days, weeks, months and when it finally erupts it could last for a short or long period depending on planning. Also destructive and a bit more dangerous because it's activities are sometimes planned. It could erupt unexpectedly especially when the recipient can't take the taunts anymore. Both Masculine and feminine. Also has adrenaline with a bit of thinking behind it
SLOWBURN; deliberate, slow, planned and totally deadly. This type of anger is a paradox because it's patient....it builds up into a crescendo. You rarely or never see it coming, never forewarns you. It's definitely feminine ;)
I believe this is the most dangerous, because it's the most deliberate. Slow burn is interestingly not the reason why "anger" has such a bad reputation because it's usually disguised, however when slow burn results in an action it's usually malicious and negative - but not always- there are situations where slow burn is good because it gives the angry person time to think and probably step off the anger trip. Sometimes the reason for anger is removed or reduced over time
So back to my earlier question; in these 3 definitions does anger have any positivity?
I say yes again because it does the most important job of generating attention. In times of monotony, stubbornness, disregard etc sometimes the right dose of anger properly used and controlled when need be can drive a change in behavior; from your children, your colleagues, friends etc etc
One of the interesting things to note about anger is the moment after....so the moment after could be a minute later, 24 hrs later or much longer depending on how bad :)
However when anger is dissipated what are you left with;
Regret, relieve, pain, calmness or a mix of some of these emotions. This is primarily dependent on your actions and the results of your actions not dependent on the anger itself.
I will end by saying that we should therefore control anger and use it to achieve desirable results and emotions especially when the "moment" is over but by all means be ANGRY sometimes not all the time though
Sent from my iPad
Friday, April 15, 2011
The little things in life
The little things are usually responsible for the biggest effects...lol...thought I'd start with an "obvious" quotable quote from smart old me. Seems like a perfect way to join the masses who have done songs, written poems, books about the little things in life
This piece will not be a rambling of an individual’s thoughts but more like a catalogue of little big things.
This piece is therefore conceived on the 3rd day of April, 2011...
a) Little thing numero uno....My daughter shouting "daddy"!!! @ the arrival hall as I push my cart arriving from a trip...slightly bashful but without inhibition...my love welled larger than if she had bought me a house ( won't mind that either). For one second I nearly didn't notice her mum walking assuredly behind her, with cockiness in her strut that said "it’s mine I don't need to run for it" hmmmm
That little “shout and run”, delivered by my little gal, is my first big little thing in this little dairy
b) The biggest fear people have is betrayal of a trust by giving away information.
"I need someone to talk to" is almost a cliched phrase but in an country where shrinks aren't popular that statement is one we should pay particular attention to.
How is this a little big thing?
Having a friend you can share something with and totally trust that its stays between the two of you is rarity ..rarer than coloured diamonds if you ask me. That's a little thing that makes a lot of difference.
I guess everyone reading this is asking the obvious question....do u have a friend like that? Are you a friend like that?
c) You take me for granted" my favourite, and I daresay the favourite of many. This seeming cliché is actually the end product of many different little big things; in itself it probably qualifies as a BIG thing not a little thing. I have shied away from listing making the actual little things that generate this sentiment because they are so individualistic and sometimes gender biased....
e.g. Forgetting your anniversary, birthday etc...male readers will go like ..... c'mon!!!,
changing the channel every time there is a soccer game ; female readers will most definitely say yes of course.
So I will leave you to let ur own personal "you take me for granted" reason run amok in your head for a while.
But let's focus on this little big thing and its effects for a while. Be it a friend, foe, brother whatever the relationship is, this issue raises hackles for both accuser and accused
So why do we do it anyway (take people for granted), is it a conscious or subconscious action? …. Can’t discuss it here however since this branches out into a whole new topic. Truth is the issue pops up on this list because it only happens between people with some form of relationship in which respect, love and care for the others feelings is assumed. This therefore leads to the generation of intense emotions and passions; making it a definite top three (if I was going to rank any of these)
d) A little bird whispered in my ear “my little big thing is when someone genuinely smiles at the things I say”…(I remembered to smile sweetly..not one to miss an opportunity ;-) )
That for me is another example of a really small thing that goes a loooong way. Its probably the reason why corporate leaders surround themselves with people they like, trust, people who listen to them (another little big thing; someone who listens to me). A smile is a sign of happiness, an indicator of “like”, an indicator that the other party is listening.
A number of little big things just came flooding in this morning;
• Your dog rolling over and asking for a belly rub;
• The person you believe cares about you tells you the meanest of things and believes they are simply telling you what they have on their mind. “this is what I think, you may agree or disagree” WTF!!!!!
• A kiss on the cheek from my daughter every morning when I drop her off at her Grandpas (yes I have a million little things about her, hope it tells you how crazy I am about her)
• The young man who lives with us at home, gives us a wave everytime we drive off to work in the morning
• My little girl saying “daddy should I change the channel to soccer for you, though I know she’s enjoying her cartoons
• Your doesn’t breakdown, simply drives till the next service is due ; reliability
• If you are a young person living at home with your parents; coming home to a peaceful place with Mummy and Daddy still happily married and alive to show you the love you need.
When I started writing this piece I said I won’t try to analyse the whys and hows of these “little things”, but I will leave this as a catalogue; this objective of this is to bring a smile to the your face if any of these serve as a reminder of sweet little things; or maybe a grimace at a painful little thing,
Whichever way this swings for you my prayer is that this piece serves to remind you;
1) not to take the little things in life for granted,
2) not to rubbish the little gestures that keep the wheels of life turning for you albeit almost imperceptibly.
3) To understand that it only takes a small deed or misdeed to destroy the other person’s life or simply the other persons day
4) That life is fleeting; here this minute, gone the next minute; so every minute is an opportunity to build a bridge, to take back a harsh word, to put a smile on another’s face
5) Treat those you consider to be friends with love, care and respect
6) Make few enemies and for the few you might make don’t make them an agenda item in your life
My desire for when I write is that I create thought starters born out of my own experiences, my joys and my pains …hope this thought starter puts a smile back on your face and enables you to put things back in perspective; focusing on the little special things that puts smiles on your friends face, if we all decide to provide the next person with a reason to smile what a wonderful world we will live in.
Not every change is revolutionary, so look for the little reminders in this short piece, it might just be the nugget to “buy” you and/or your friends happiness
This piece will not be a rambling of an individual’s thoughts but more like a catalogue of little big things.
This piece is therefore conceived on the 3rd day of April, 2011...
a) Little thing numero uno....My daughter shouting "daddy"!!! @ the arrival hall as I push my cart arriving from a trip...slightly bashful but without inhibition...my love welled larger than if she had bought me a house ( won't mind that either). For one second I nearly didn't notice her mum walking assuredly behind her, with cockiness in her strut that said "it’s mine I don't need to run for it" hmmmm
That little “shout and run”, delivered by my little gal, is my first big little thing in this little dairy
b) The biggest fear people have is betrayal of a trust by giving away information.
"I need someone to talk to" is almost a cliched phrase but in an country where shrinks aren't popular that statement is one we should pay particular attention to.
How is this a little big thing?
Having a friend you can share something with and totally trust that its stays between the two of you is rarity ..rarer than coloured diamonds if you ask me. That's a little thing that makes a lot of difference.
I guess everyone reading this is asking the obvious question....do u have a friend like that? Are you a friend like that?
c) You take me for granted" my favourite, and I daresay the favourite of many. This seeming cliché is actually the end product of many different little big things; in itself it probably qualifies as a BIG thing not a little thing. I have shied away from listing making the actual little things that generate this sentiment because they are so individualistic and sometimes gender biased....
e.g. Forgetting your anniversary, birthday etc...male readers will go like ..... c'mon!!!,
changing the channel every time there is a soccer game ; female readers will most definitely say yes of course.
So I will leave you to let ur own personal "you take me for granted" reason run amok in your head for a while.
But let's focus on this little big thing and its effects for a while. Be it a friend, foe, brother whatever the relationship is, this issue raises hackles for both accuser and accused
So why do we do it anyway (take people for granted), is it a conscious or subconscious action? …. Can’t discuss it here however since this branches out into a whole new topic. Truth is the issue pops up on this list because it only happens between people with some form of relationship in which respect, love and care for the others feelings is assumed. This therefore leads to the generation of intense emotions and passions; making it a definite top three (if I was going to rank any of these)
d) A little bird whispered in my ear “my little big thing is when someone genuinely smiles at the things I say”…(I remembered to smile sweetly..not one to miss an opportunity ;-) )
That for me is another example of a really small thing that goes a loooong way. Its probably the reason why corporate leaders surround themselves with people they like, trust, people who listen to them (another little big thing; someone who listens to me). A smile is a sign of happiness, an indicator of “like”, an indicator that the other party is listening.
A number of little big things just came flooding in this morning;
• Your dog rolling over and asking for a belly rub;
• The person you believe cares about you tells you the meanest of things and believes they are simply telling you what they have on their mind. “this is what I think, you may agree or disagree” WTF!!!!!
• A kiss on the cheek from my daughter every morning when I drop her off at her Grandpas (yes I have a million little things about her, hope it tells you how crazy I am about her)
• The young man who lives with us at home, gives us a wave everytime we drive off to work in the morning
• My little girl saying “daddy should I change the channel to soccer for you, though I know she’s enjoying her cartoons
• Your doesn’t breakdown, simply drives till the next service is due ; reliability
• If you are a young person living at home with your parents; coming home to a peaceful place with Mummy and Daddy still happily married and alive to show you the love you need.
When I started writing this piece I said I won’t try to analyse the whys and hows of these “little things”, but I will leave this as a catalogue; this objective of this is to bring a smile to the your face if any of these serve as a reminder of sweet little things; or maybe a grimace at a painful little thing,
Whichever way this swings for you my prayer is that this piece serves to remind you;
1) not to take the little things in life for granted,
2) not to rubbish the little gestures that keep the wheels of life turning for you albeit almost imperceptibly.
3) To understand that it only takes a small deed or misdeed to destroy the other person’s life or simply the other persons day
4) That life is fleeting; here this minute, gone the next minute; so every minute is an opportunity to build a bridge, to take back a harsh word, to put a smile on another’s face
5) Treat those you consider to be friends with love, care and respect
6) Make few enemies and for the few you might make don’t make them an agenda item in your life
My desire for when I write is that I create thought starters born out of my own experiences, my joys and my pains …hope this thought starter puts a smile back on your face and enables you to put things back in perspective; focusing on the little special things that puts smiles on your friends face, if we all decide to provide the next person with a reason to smile what a wonderful world we will live in.
Not every change is revolutionary, so look for the little reminders in this short piece, it might just be the nugget to “buy” you and/or your friends happiness
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
reverse
When I decided to write down these musings of mine, the first debate I had with myself was whether to title it rewind or reverse; this is bcos my thoughts have been consumed by what will this world be like if we had the power to go back in time. I settled on reverse bcos it spoke to my wishes....and the wishes millions of us have probably had about 1 aspect of our lives or the other; the wish to go back and chose a different course. Rewind didn't cut if for me, seemed limited to going back and reliving de same moment(probably another piece altogether)
People often say Life is about choices; this statement is more profound than meets the eye...at least I think so.
So my question to all who read this is; if you could put your life in reverse at which points would u take a different turn?
The schools you chose to attend? (That is if you had much of a choice in that)...and the bigger question, how would that have affected your life. I must admit that this piece cuts too close to the tired question of predestination vs freedom of deciding your future based on your choices.
I have always believed in a compromise position on this question of destiny; which is what allows me to have these "useless" thoughts on life's reverse gear.
I believe every choice we make bodes for us a different destiny.....
Having shared that with you my next question will be?
Would you chose different if your reverse took you to the romantic moments in your life? This will include dating, flings and marriage.
Marriage is a particularly controversial one aint it? The regrets are more profound, since the decision is taken at a mature (hopefully) stage in life. It has particularly unnerving also because you live it for the rest of your life, unless school, work, dating, etc its terminal; till death do us part kinda terminal.
The job you do; also quite profound not just for the amount of money you make but also for your legacy as a person. How did you impact peoples lives. A doctor and an armed robber will have different legacies....only one of them can be truly proud of theirs.
The amount of time you spend with your kids and how you positively impact their futures through your upbringing of them.
I have a 100 reverse moments in mind but I am a lazy writer and I type on my balckberry :-(
At about this time I asked myself; isn't this a useless question? Since we all know there will never be a reverse option.......so what's the value of these musings?
Fact is; we do push into reverse periodically however it can only happen mentally. Trust me there is great value in reversing albeit merely a mental exercise.
I can't discuss the usefulness of reverse options without touching briefly on the forward option(yes another topic)
Understanding your reverse helps you make the right decisions when forward happens.....unless you die it will happen right?.
My object is for us all to go into reverse and ask ourselves will we take the same decisions? And use this in shaping our future decisions.......
Feel free to add to this piece, it is a living document
People often say Life is about choices; this statement is more profound than meets the eye...at least I think so.
So my question to all who read this is; if you could put your life in reverse at which points would u take a different turn?
The schools you chose to attend? (That is if you had much of a choice in that)...and the bigger question, how would that have affected your life. I must admit that this piece cuts too close to the tired question of predestination vs freedom of deciding your future based on your choices.
I have always believed in a compromise position on this question of destiny; which is what allows me to have these "useless" thoughts on life's reverse gear.
I believe every choice we make bodes for us a different destiny.....
Having shared that with you my next question will be?
Would you chose different if your reverse took you to the romantic moments in your life? This will include dating, flings and marriage.
Marriage is a particularly controversial one aint it? The regrets are more profound, since the decision is taken at a mature (hopefully) stage in life. It has particularly unnerving also because you live it for the rest of your life, unless school, work, dating, etc its terminal; till death do us part kinda terminal.
The job you do; also quite profound not just for the amount of money you make but also for your legacy as a person. How did you impact peoples lives. A doctor and an armed robber will have different legacies....only one of them can be truly proud of theirs.
The amount of time you spend with your kids and how you positively impact their futures through your upbringing of them.
I have a 100 reverse moments in mind but I am a lazy writer and I type on my balckberry :-(
At about this time I asked myself; isn't this a useless question? Since we all know there will never be a reverse option.......so what's the value of these musings?
Fact is; we do push into reverse periodically however it can only happen mentally. Trust me there is great value in reversing albeit merely a mental exercise.
I can't discuss the usefulness of reverse options without touching briefly on the forward option(yes another topic)
Understanding your reverse helps you make the right decisions when forward happens.....unless you die it will happen right?.
My object is for us all to go into reverse and ask ourselves will we take the same decisions? And use this in shaping our future decisions.......
Feel free to add to this piece, it is a living document
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Fw: You
------ SMS ------
From: +233264370326
Received: Sep 25, 2010 10:29 AM
Subject: You
You
Sweetness, attitude, brilliance
Unique like a thumbprint
My eyes, my vision
They see, they like
Your sweetness, your attitude, your brilliance
Your soul should speak to my heart
To understand the Lang of my eyes
What you read, is what I see
You,
Unique, refreshing
Your proof?
My touch;
passionate but gentle
Urgent but careful
My look;
Intense but soft
Lingering but shy
YOU
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Zain Ghana
From: +233264370326
Received: Sep 25, 2010 10:29 AM
Subject: You
You
Sweetness, attitude, brilliance
Unique like a thumbprint
My eyes, my vision
They see, they like
Your sweetness, your attitude, your brilliance
Your soul should speak to my heart
To understand the Lang of my eyes
What you read, is what I see
You,
Unique, refreshing
Your proof?
My touch;
passionate but gentle
Urgent but careful
My look;
Intense but soft
Lingering but shy
YOU
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Zain Ghana
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