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Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Closed chapter isn't a closed casket
Its life telling u to reset
The sun's light dims and dies in the evening
Only to rise in hot and brilliant splendour at the break of dawn
From dusk to dawn
From a smile to a frown
From a giggle to a yawn
From rainstorms to the driest harmattan
The only certainty is the constant flux
I grace the bad days with a wink
Fists clenched
Feet planted
Pawing at terra firma
attacking life as an eager beaver
Looking forward to closing chapters
Yielding to new life through rebirths
Life's cute way of starting a new race
So get set, reset and GO!
Its life telling u to reset
The sun's light dims and dies in the evening
Only to rise in hot and brilliant splendour at the break of dawn
From dusk to dawn
From a smile to a frown
From a giggle to a yawn
From rainstorms to the driest harmattan
The only certainty is the constant flux
I grace the bad days with a wink
Fists clenched
Feet planted
Pawing at terra firma
attacking life as an eager beaver
Looking forward to closing chapters
Yielding to new life through rebirths
Life's cute way of starting a new race
So get set, reset and GO!
*themindsquire
Sent from Samsung Mobile
Thursday, March 7, 2013
End of days......
Some days I remember...
Most days it's amnesia
Your smile tattoed in my minds eye
Your voice on a loop in my ear drum
The fun times and the welcome chores Both signposts of nostalgic history
Nipped without the tuck
Open wound, left to bleed out
When friendship sees the end of days...
And the mind tangos with itself. ..what are the answers?
Justified? ...maybe
Ruthless?...definitely
Deserved? .....never
A friend lost to a mystery
Is missed throughout history
Some days I remember...
Most days it's amnesia
Your smile tattoed in my minds eye
Your voice on a loop in my ear drum
The fun times and the welcome chores Both signposts of nostalgic history
Nipped without the tuck
Open wound, left to bleed out
When friendship sees the end of days...
And the mind tangos with itself. ..what are the answers?
Justified? ...maybe
Ruthless?...definitely
Deserved? .....never
A friend lost to a mystery
Is missed throughout history
Each to its own end; says the sage
Via the flowery words carefully penned on a 20th century page
Or the brevity of 160 characters tapped onto the dynamic screens of this new age
from the days of the afro and platform shoes
To the reign of the mohawk and skinny jeans
Within the balmy walls of a single room
Or reverberating off the high ceiling of the master bedroom
The dilemma of an emotional wreck
To explode or to exhale
Each to its own end; says the sage
Consider the wisdom in exhalation?
Or enjoy the thrill of the explosion?
Each to its own end
Via the flowery words carefully penned on a 20th century page
Or the brevity of 160 characters tapped onto the dynamic screens of this new age
from the days of the afro and platform shoes
To the reign of the mohawk and skinny jeans
Within the balmy walls of a single room
Or reverberating off the high ceiling of the master bedroom
The dilemma of an emotional wreck
To explode or to exhale
Each to its own end; says the sage
Consider the wisdom in exhalation?
Or enjoy the thrill of the explosion?
Each to its own end
Monday, August 13, 2012
i need u
I believe "I need u" not "I love u" are the most powerful 3 words in the world
The are times 1 person evokes the two emotions in us ...that is "emotional nirvana". Other times two different people generate the two responses.
My opening sentence was designed to catch your attention not to start an intellectual debate over emotions.
My purpose for this piece is to begin to explore human dependence on other humans.
I find it to be an intriguing paradox that most humans ask for freedom and independence but in reality we aren't free from each other. My guess is what we truly seek is the freedom to choose who to be dependent on.
Its often said that we don't choose who to be born to or when to die but we choose who to get married to and who to be friends with; therefore we put a lot of emotional and logical energy into making those decisions; however when u think about it..don't you wonder why and how you come to choose friends, spouses, girlfriends.? when you really think about it, it seems to be enveloped in this totally inexplicable concept of love and need. The pendulum favors the love bit when the opposite sex is concerned ;)
I digressed a little into this issue of choosing friends and partners because even when humans are seemingly free to chose who to depend on we don't seem to be freely exercising that will (does that make sense?)
Anyway this piece was motivated by my realisation that I "need" certain people in my life. Note this isn't an ephemeral kinda need. I'm referring to the tug u feel to talk to and be with a particular person when u have an issue, when you are in trouble or when you have good news or when you are bored or....u get my drift.
You are truly blessed when this is the same person you seemingly love.
I qualified Love with "seemingly" bcos I don't think I'm qualified to be involved in any debates as to what Love really is and whether any mushy feeling is love, lust or any other related feeling. For this piece love is allll of that ok.
So why is this concept of need such a powerful one? .....
I will start from the very implication of the word "need"....it implies a strong dependency, q requirement for you, not a luxury you can forfeit; like water, food etc.
Is it only the dramatic like me who need people? Or as is oft said every1 needs some1?
I believe its the latter.
Some prefer to go to a shrink, some to their parents, some to friends, others to loved ones (in the broadest sense of the word loved), some to their pastors....whatever your choice may be I believe we all need someone and that love is in its most powerful form when there is a need ( remember ; not an ephemeral kind of need)
If your are reading this ..then I'm sure you are beginning to wonder who is that person you "NEED" in your life :)..if you don't know already.
So how do come to "need" someone who isn't your mother (yup..u guessed right..my mum is the 2nd most important in my life..she was numero uno till my daughter came along)
This is the one question I don't have answers to; we meet hundreds of people and yet we connect with only one or two @ that emotional need level.
Does this occur because the person works towards that?...don't believe so because there are people who no matter how hard they try you don't even want to see them .
Or maybe these are people who think like us ?
Comes down I think to a metaphysical concept, a connection you can't reason out.
It seems we don't even have the "freedom" to chose friends and spouses when you reeeeaallly think about!
So what is the punchline to all this; we all need someone; and when you are in a position where someone needs you; put your shoulder to it and give it your best effort afterall we are all human and we all need someone at somepoint; problem is we can never tell who it is or when or why.
The world never revolves around YOU, help and be helped. The beauty of human weakness is we dont have to be alone.
God in his wisdom when he realised mankind was in "trouble" sent his son. So whiles we pray let's open our arms and hug a friend in need, cos you might be God's physical representative on earth in that moment of need
enjoy and remember I NEED YOU :)
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Ny3333333! trying hard to spell out the cry of a baby as rendered in local Ghanaian dialect
Ny3333333! trying hard to spell out the cry of a baby as rendered in local Ghanaian dialect
The 1st time a man or woman hears that sound from their own seed it's a magical moment. When it comes to childbearing, In Africa we actually find innovative ways to torture people who delay(intentionally or not) or decide not to have babies. It is such a biiiig deal ....but this is the subject of another blog. My focus here is on the actual experience of a having a 1st child seen through the eyes of father.
I don't believe most counseling sessions and friendly pre marriage advice sessions prepare a man for the 1st 12 months of their childs life.
To do this I have to paint a picture for you that will serve as a case study of sorts
Mr and Mrs Asasewura met and courted for 12 months and promptly got engaged; the 1st month of their engagement Mrs Asasewura got pregnant ....therefore @ their Christian wedding ceremony to bless their marriage she was already 3 months gone...yup don't judge
Mr Asasewura prior to getting married scarcely missed a Friday night out with the boys and had this once or twice a month nightclub out routine going. He was also brought to be responsible for his wife with his mum never failing to remind him to constantly go by the cliche "mind the gutter darling". It was no wonder that being the chivalrous young man he was from day 1 of marriage he cut out Friday nights and club sessions.
This break from tradition came with no signs of withdrawal symptoms so Mr Asasewura felt really good and happy about his marriage. 9 months from conception was the birth of Mr & Mrs Asasewura's beautiful baby gal . Mr Asasewura had by this time become a stay @ home hubby, with a close relatioNship with his wife, not surprising Because for the 1st 6 months of their marriage it was just the 2 of them the 4 walls of their new home (except when he had to be at work)
When his wife went into labour he took her to the hospital without breaking the 6 month tradition of just the two of them.
After 48 hours of labour during which he left the hospital for only 1 hour baby Asasewura was delivered, a sweet and chubby baby girl
The 1st 3 weeks passes like a dream....1st week in the hospital went by quickly but the 2 weeks in his parents in law home were too long for him. He wanted his wife back at home with ...none of this customary Ghanaian thing of 3 months stay at her mums to learn the rudiments of baby care and to get grandmas loving care
His wife and inlaws caved in in merely 2 weeks. The elated Mr Asasewura had his wife @ home to himself, Plus of course his chubby and lovely new princess
What follows is what i believe every new couple need to note.
Interestingly the 1st 2 months were tough for both mum and dad Asasewura but fun as well.
The princess woke up every night bawling loudly...somx a milky boob will shut her up other times only carrying her whiles walking around( no sitting, no standing, no lying)
That stabilized and after that the "trial" of Mr Asasewura began
He felt like an outsider or a visitor an unseen one in their home. He had very little access to the woman he had spent every day of the last 6 months with alone @ home
His baby loved booby milk so much that it was never really comfy with daddy
Mummy Asasewura was so engrossed with this novel baby care thing that Mr Asasewura had barely seized to exist. As a good wife his evening meal and other wifely duties were always on point. Mr Asasewura was frustrated to the point of anger,and was beginning to despise the idea of having a child( yup that bad)
He complained bitterly to Mrs Asasewura but at the stage in her life her daughter was her world, and of course the advice of mr Asasewura's motherinlaw ( her mum). Note that since motherinlaws advice was focused on mothering Mr Asasewura felt even more removed from the action.
He tried talking to other people and they looked at him weirdly, almost like...how can you feel like that when its your wife and daughter.
This torture continued for 24 months and by then there was a 3 point relationship..mum and dad, mum and daughter, dad and daughter ...but not all 3 together
The 1st time a man or woman hears that sound from their own seed it's a magical moment. When it comes to childbearing, In Africa we actually find innovative ways to torture people who delay(intentionally or not) or decide not to have babies. It is such a biiiig deal ....but this is the subject of another blog. My focus here is on the actual experience of a having a 1st child seen through the eyes of father.
I don't believe most counseling sessions and friendly pre marriage advice sessions prepare a man for the 1st 12 months of their childs life.
To do this I have to paint a picture for you that will serve as a case study of sorts
Mr and Mrs Asasewura met and courted for 12 months and promptly got engaged; the 1st month of their engagement Mrs Asasewura got pregnant ....therefore @ their Christian wedding ceremony to bless their marriage she was already 3 months gone...yup don't judge
Mr Asasewura prior to getting married scarcely missed a Friday night out with the boys and had this once or twice a month nightclub out routine going. He was also brought to be responsible for his wife with his mum never failing to remind him to constantly go by the cliche "mind the gutter darling". It was no wonder that being the chivalrous young man he was from day 1 of marriage he cut out Friday nights and club sessions.
This break from tradition came with no signs of withdrawal symptoms so Mr Asasewura felt really good and happy about his marriage. 9 months from conception was the birth of Mr & Mrs Asasewura's beautiful baby gal . Mr Asasewura had by this time become a stay @ home hubby, with a close relatioNship with his wife, not surprising Because for the 1st 6 months of their marriage it was just the 2 of them the 4 walls of their new home (except when he had to be at work)
When his wife went into labour he took her to the hospital without breaking the 6 month tradition of just the two of them.
After 48 hours of labour during which he left the hospital for only 1 hour baby Asasewura was delivered, a sweet and chubby baby girl
The 1st 3 weeks passes like a dream....1st week in the hospital went by quickly but the 2 weeks in his parents in law home were too long for him. He wanted his wife back at home with ...none of this customary Ghanaian thing of 3 months stay at her mums to learn the rudiments of baby care and to get grandmas loving care
His wife and inlaws caved in in merely 2 weeks. The elated Mr Asasewura had his wife @ home to himself, Plus of course his chubby and lovely new princess
What follows is what i believe every new couple need to note.
Interestingly the 1st 2 months were tough for both mum and dad Asasewura but fun as well.
The princess woke up every night bawling loudly...somx a milky boob will shut her up other times only carrying her whiles walking around( no sitting, no standing, no lying)
That stabilized and after that the "trial" of Mr Asasewura began
He felt like an outsider or a visitor an unseen one in their home. He had very little access to the woman he had spent every day of the last 6 months with alone @ home
His baby loved booby milk so much that it was never really comfy with daddy
Mummy Asasewura was so engrossed with this novel baby care thing that Mr Asasewura had barely seized to exist. As a good wife his evening meal and other wifely duties were always on point. Mr Asasewura was frustrated to the point of anger,and was beginning to despise the idea of having a child( yup that bad)
He complained bitterly to Mrs Asasewura but at the stage in her life her daughter was her world, and of course the advice of mr Asasewura's motherinlaw ( her mum). Note that since motherinlaws advice was focused on mothering Mr Asasewura felt even more removed from the action.
He tried talking to other people and they looked at him weirdly, almost like...how can you feel like that when its your wife and daughter.
This torture continued for 24 months and by then there was a 3 point relationship..mum and dad, mum and daughter, dad and daughter ...but not all 3 together
They are still happily married and baby Asasewura is a pretty young and intelligent lady who dotes on her father, she scarcely notices her mum, who is constantly jealous of their relationship ( yup tables have turned)
My question couldn't the 1st 24 months have been easier or managed better at least, because the situation painted could have ended much worse, even led to breakup
Some advice I have sought on this issue indicates that the best thing for the couple to do is to be involved together with the baby care.
Apparently this is fairly common advice known to people who have been through this, my question why are issues of money, cheating,sex etc given so much airtime and this most powerful male trauma ( at least according to Mr Asasewura) not given the attention it requires.
Other advice is don't have a baby till you guys have had like 2 years of being together
I'm am eager to hear from any readers out there on views on how to deal with this better and also to hear other experiences.
Thank you for reading, and say a prayer for the Asasewura's and other such couples :)
Spread the word to newly weds and prevent an Asasewura type trauma from breaking up a happy home.
Sent from my iPad
Ny3333333! trying hard to spell out the cry of a baby as rendered in local Ghanaian dialect
Ny3333333! trying hard to spell out the cry of a baby as rendered in local Ghanaian dialect
The 1st time a man or woman hears that sound from their own seed it's a magical moment. When it comes to childbearing, In Africa we actually find innovative ways to torture people who delay(intentionally or not) or decide not to have babies. It is such a biiiig deal ....but this is the subject of another blog. My focus here is on the actual experience of a having a 1st child seen through the eyes of father.
I don't believe most counseling sessions and friendly pre marriage advice sessions prepare a man for the 1st 12 months of their childs life.
To do this I have to paint a picture for you that will serve as a case study of sorts
Mr and Mrs Asasewura met and courted for 12 months and promptly got engaged; the 1st month of their engagement Mrs Asasewura got pregnant ....therefore @ their Christian wedding ceremony to bless their marriage she was already 3 months gone...yup don't judge
Mr Asasewura prior to getting married scarcely missed a Friday night out with the boys and had this once or twice a month nightclub out routine going. He was also brought to be responsible for his wife with his mum never failing to remind him to constantly go by the cliche "mind the gutter darling". It was no wonder that being the chivalrous young man he was from day 1 of marriage he cut out Friday nights and club sessions.
This break from tradition came with no signs of withdrawal symptoms so Mr Asasewura felt really good and happy about his marriage. 9 months from conception was the birth of Mr & Mrs Asasewura's beautiful baby gal . Mr Asasewura had by this time become a stay @ home hubby, with a close relatioNship with his wife, not surprising Because for the 1st 6 months of their marriage it was just the 2 of them the 4 walls of their new home (except when he had to be at work)
When his wife went into labour he took her to the hospital without breaking the 6 month tradition of just the two of them.
After 48 hours of labour during which he left the hospital for only 1 hour baby Asasewura was delivered, a sweet and chubby baby girl
The 1st 3 weeks passes like a dream....1st week in the hospital went by quickly but the 2 weeks in his parents in law home were too long for him. He wanted his wife back at home with ...none of this customary Ghanaian thing of 3 months stay at her mums to learn the rudiments of baby care and to get grandmas loving care
His wife and inlaws caved in in merely 2 weeks. The elated Mr Asasewura had his wife @ home to himself, Plus of course his chubby and lovely new princess
What follows is what i believe every new couple need to note.
Interestingly the 1st 2 months were tough for both mum and dad Asasewura but fun as well.
The princess woke up every night bawling loudly...somx a milky boob will shut her up other times only carrying her whiles walking around( no sitting, no standing, no lying)
That stabilized and after that the "trial" of Mr Asasewura began
He felt like an outsider or a visitor an unseen one in their home. He had very little access to the woman he had spent every day of the last 6 months with alone @ home
His baby loved booby milk so much that it was never really comfy with daddy
Mummy Asasewura was so engrossed with this novel baby care thing that Mr Asasewura had barely seized to exist. As a good wife his evening meal and other wifely duties were always on point. Mr Asasewura was frustrated to the point of anger,and was beginning to despise the idea of having a child( yup that bad)
He complained bitterly to Mrs Asasewura but at the stage in her life her daughter was her world, and of course the advice of mr Asasewura's motherinlaw ( her mum). Note that since motherinlaws advice was focused on mothering Mr Asasewura felt even more removed from the action.
He tried talking to other people and they looked at him weirdly, almost like...how can you feel like that when its your wife and daughter.
This torture continued for 24 months and by then there was a 3 point relationship..mum and dad, mum and daughter, dad and daughter ...but not all 3 together
The 1st time a man or woman hears that sound from their own seed it's a magical moment. When it comes to childbearing, In Africa we actually find innovative ways to torture people who delay(intentionally or not) or decide not to have babies. It is such a biiiig deal ....but this is the subject of another blog. My focus here is on the actual experience of a having a 1st child seen through the eyes of father.
I don't believe most counseling sessions and friendly pre marriage advice sessions prepare a man for the 1st 12 months of their childs life.
To do this I have to paint a picture for you that will serve as a case study of sorts
Mr and Mrs Asasewura met and courted for 12 months and promptly got engaged; the 1st month of their engagement Mrs Asasewura got pregnant ....therefore @ their Christian wedding ceremony to bless their marriage she was already 3 months gone...yup don't judge
Mr Asasewura prior to getting married scarcely missed a Friday night out with the boys and had this once or twice a month nightclub out routine going. He was also brought to be responsible for his wife with his mum never failing to remind him to constantly go by the cliche "mind the gutter darling". It was no wonder that being the chivalrous young man he was from day 1 of marriage he cut out Friday nights and club sessions.
This break from tradition came with no signs of withdrawal symptoms so Mr Asasewura felt really good and happy about his marriage. 9 months from conception was the birth of Mr & Mrs Asasewura's beautiful baby gal . Mr Asasewura had by this time become a stay @ home hubby, with a close relatioNship with his wife, not surprising Because for the 1st 6 months of their marriage it was just the 2 of them the 4 walls of their new home (except when he had to be at work)
When his wife went into labour he took her to the hospital without breaking the 6 month tradition of just the two of them.
After 48 hours of labour during which he left the hospital for only 1 hour baby Asasewura was delivered, a sweet and chubby baby girl
The 1st 3 weeks passes like a dream....1st week in the hospital went by quickly but the 2 weeks in his parents in law home were too long for him. He wanted his wife back at home with ...none of this customary Ghanaian thing of 3 months stay at her mums to learn the rudiments of baby care and to get grandmas loving care
His wife and inlaws caved in in merely 2 weeks. The elated Mr Asasewura had his wife @ home to himself, Plus of course his chubby and lovely new princess
What follows is what i believe every new couple need to note.
Interestingly the 1st 2 months were tough for both mum and dad Asasewura but fun as well.
The princess woke up every night bawling loudly...somx a milky boob will shut her up other times only carrying her whiles walking around( no sitting, no standing, no lying)
That stabilized and after that the "trial" of Mr Asasewura began
He felt like an outsider or a visitor an unseen one in their home. He had very little access to the woman he had spent every day of the last 6 months with alone @ home
His baby loved booby milk so much that it was never really comfy with daddy
Mummy Asasewura was so engrossed with this novel baby care thing that Mr Asasewura had barely seized to exist. As a good wife his evening meal and other wifely duties were always on point. Mr Asasewura was frustrated to the point of anger,and was beginning to despise the idea of having a child( yup that bad)
He complained bitterly to Mrs Asasewura but at the stage in her life her daughter was her world, and of course the advice of mr Asasewura's motherinlaw ( her mum). Note that since motherinlaws advice was focused on mothering Mr Asasewura felt even more removed from the action.
He tried talking to other people and they looked at him weirdly, almost like...how can you feel like that when its your wife and daughter.
This torture continued for 24 months and by then there was a 3 point relationship..mum and dad, mum and daughter, dad and daughter ...but not all 3 together
They are still happily married and baby Asasewura is a pretty young and intelligent lady who dotes on her father, she scarcely notices her mum, who is constantly jealous of their relationship ( yup tables have turned)
My question couldn't the 1st 24 months have been easier or managed better at least, because the situation painted could have ended much worse, even led to breakup
Some advice I have sought on this issue indicates that the best thing for the couple to do is to be involved together with the baby care.
Apparently this is fairly common advice known to people who have been through this, my question why are issues of money, cheating,sex etc given so much airtime and this most powerful male trauma ( at least according to Mr Asasewura) not given the attention it requires.
Other advice is don't have a baby till you guys have had like 2 years of being together
I'm am eager to hear from any readers out there on views on how to deal with this better and also to hear other experiences.
Thank you for reading, and say a prayer for the Asasewura's and other such couples :)
Spread the word to newly weds and prevent an Asasewura type trauma from breaking up a happy home.
Sent from my iPad
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