Ny3333333! trying hard to spell out the cry of a baby as rendered in local Ghanaian dialect

Ny3333333! trying hard to spell out the cry of a baby as rendered in local Ghanaian dialect
The 1st time a man or woman hears that sound from their own seed it's a magical moment. When it comes to childbearing, In Africa we actually find innovative ways to torture people who delay(intentionally or not) or decide not to have babies. It is such a biiiig deal ....but this is the subject of another blog. My focus here is on the actual experience of a having a 1st child seen through the eyes of father.
I don't believe most counseling sessions and friendly pre marriage advice sessions prepare a man for the 1st 12 months of their childs life.
To do this I have to paint a picture for you that will serve as a case study of sorts
Mr and Mrs Asasewura met and courted for 12 months and promptly got engaged; the 1st month of their engagement Mrs Asasewura got pregnant ....therefore @ their Christian wedding ceremony to bless their marriage she was already 3 months gone...yup don't judge
Mr Asasewura prior to getting married scarcely missed a Friday night out with the boys and had this once or twice a month nightclub out routine going. He was also brought to be responsible for his wife with his mum never failing to remind him to constantly go by the cliche "mind the gutter darling". It was no wonder that being the chivalrous young man he was from day 1 of marriage he cut out Friday nights and club sessions.
This break from tradition came with no signs of withdrawal symptoms so Mr Asasewura felt really good and happy about his marriage. 9 months from conception was the birth of Mr & Mrs Asasewura's beautiful baby gal . Mr Asasewura had by this time become a stay @ home hubby, with a close relatioNship with his wife, not surprising Because for the 1st 6 months of their marriage it was just the 2 of them the 4 walls of their new home (except when he had to be at work)
When his wife went into labour he took her to the hospital without breaking the 6 month tradition of just the two of them.
After 48 hours of labour during which he left the hospital for only 1 hour baby Asasewura was delivered, a sweet and chubby baby girl
The 1st 3 weeks passes like a dream....1st week in the hospital went by quickly but the 2 weeks in his parents in law home were too long for him. He wanted his wife back at home with ...none of this customary Ghanaian thing of 3 months stay at her mums to learn the rudiments of baby care and to get grandmas loving care
His wife and inlaws caved in in merely 2 weeks. The elated Mr Asasewura had his wife @ home to himself, Plus of course his chubby and lovely new princess
What follows is what i believe every new couple need to note.
Interestingly the 1st 2 months were tough for both mum and dad Asasewura but fun as well.
The princess woke up every night bawling loudly...somx a milky boob will shut her up other times only carrying her whiles walking around( no sitting, no standing, no lying)
That stabilized and after that the "trial" of Mr Asasewura began
He felt like an outsider or a visitor an unseen one in their home. He had very little access to the woman he had spent every day of the last 6 months with alone @ home
His baby loved booby milk so much that it was never really comfy with daddy
Mummy Asasewura was so engrossed with this novel baby care thing that Mr Asasewura had barely seized to exist. As a good wife his evening meal and other wifely duties were always on point. Mr Asasewura was frustrated to the point of anger,and was beginning to despise the idea of having a child( yup that bad)
He complained bitterly to Mrs Asasewura but at the stage in her life her daughter was her world, and of course the advice of mr Asasewura's motherinlaw ( her mum). Note that since motherinlaws advice was focused on mothering Mr Asasewura felt even more removed from the action.
He tried talking to other people and they looked at him weirdly, almost like...how can you feel like that when its your wife and daughter.
This torture continued for 24 months and by then there was a 3 point relationship..mum and dad, mum and daughter, dad and daughter ...but not all 3 together

They are still happily married and baby Asasewura is a pretty young and intelligent lady who dotes on her father, she scarcely notices her mum, who is constantly jealous of their relationship ( yup tables have turned)
My question couldn't the 1st 24 months have been easier or managed better at least, because the situation painted could have ended much worse, even led to breakup

Some advice I have sought on this issue indicates that the best thing for the couple to do is to be involved together with the baby care.

Apparently this is fairly common advice known to people who have been through this, my question why are issues of money, cheating,sex etc given so much airtime and this most powerful male trauma ( at least according to Mr Asasewura) not given the attention it requires.
Other advice is don't have a baby till you guys have had like 2 years of being together
I'm am eager to hear from any readers out there on views on how to deal with this better and also to hear other experiences.
Thank you for reading, and say a prayer for the Asasewura's and other such couples :)
Spread the word to newly weds and prevent an Asasewura type trauma from breaking up a happy home.

Sent from my iPad

Ny3333333! trying hard to spell out the cry of a baby as rendered in local Ghanaian dialect

Ny3333333! trying hard to spell out the cry of a baby as rendered in local Ghanaian dialect
The 1st time a man or woman hears that sound from their own seed it's a magical moment. When it comes to childbearing, In Africa we actually find innovative ways to torture people who delay(intentionally or not) or decide not to have babies. It is such a biiiig deal ....but this is the subject of another blog. My focus here is on the actual experience of a having a 1st child seen through the eyes of father.
I don't believe most counseling sessions and friendly pre marriage advice sessions prepare a man for the 1st 12 months of their childs life.
To do this I have to paint a picture for you that will serve as a case study of sorts
Mr and Mrs Asasewura met and courted for 12 months and promptly got engaged; the 1st month of their engagement Mrs Asasewura got pregnant ....therefore @ their Christian wedding ceremony to bless their marriage she was already 3 months gone...yup don't judge
Mr Asasewura prior to getting married scarcely missed a Friday night out with the boys and had this once or twice a month nightclub out routine going. He was also brought to be responsible for his wife with his mum never failing to remind him to constantly go by the cliche "mind the gutter darling". It was no wonder that being the chivalrous young man he was from day 1 of marriage he cut out Friday nights and club sessions.
This break from tradition came with no signs of withdrawal symptoms so Mr Asasewura felt really good and happy about his marriage. 9 months from conception was the birth of Mr & Mrs Asasewura's beautiful baby gal . Mr Asasewura had by this time become a stay @ home hubby, with a close relatioNship with his wife, not surprising Because for the 1st 6 months of their marriage it was just the 2 of them the 4 walls of their new home (except when he had to be at work)
When his wife went into labour he took her to the hospital without breaking the 6 month tradition of just the two of them.
After 48 hours of labour during which he left the hospital for only 1 hour baby Asasewura was delivered, a sweet and chubby baby girl
The 1st 3 weeks passes like a dream....1st week in the hospital went by quickly but the 2 weeks in his parents in law home were too long for him. He wanted his wife back at home with ...none of this customary Ghanaian thing of 3 months stay at her mums to learn the rudiments of baby care and to get grandmas loving care
His wife and inlaws caved in in merely 2 weeks. The elated Mr Asasewura had his wife @ home to himself, Plus of course his chubby and lovely new princess
What follows is what i believe every new couple need to note.
Interestingly the 1st 2 months were tough for both mum and dad Asasewura but fun as well.
The princess woke up every night bawling loudly...somx a milky boob will shut her up other times only carrying her whiles walking around( no sitting, no standing, no lying)
That stabilized and after that the "trial" of Mr Asasewura began
He felt like an outsider or a visitor an unseen one in their home. He had very little access to the woman he had spent every day of the last 6 months with alone @ home
His baby loved booby milk so much that it was never really comfy with daddy
Mummy Asasewura was so engrossed with this novel baby care thing that Mr Asasewura had barely seized to exist. As a good wife his evening meal and other wifely duties were always on point. Mr Asasewura was frustrated to the point of anger,and was beginning to despise the idea of having a child( yup that bad)
He complained bitterly to Mrs Asasewura but at the stage in her life her daughter was her world, and of course the advice of mr Asasewura's motherinlaw ( her mum). Note that since motherinlaws advice was focused on mothering Mr Asasewura felt even more removed from the action.
He tried talking to other people and they looked at him weirdly, almost like...how can you feel like that when its your wife and daughter.
This torture continued for 24 months and by then there was a 3 point relationship..mum and dad, mum and daughter, dad and daughter ...but not all 3 together

They are still happily married and baby Asasewura is a pretty young and intelligent lady who dotes on her father, she scarcely notices her mum, who is constantly jealous of their relationship ( yup tables have turned)
My question couldn't the 1st 24 months have been easier or managed better at least, because the situation painted could have ended much worse, even led to breakup

Some advice I have sought on this issue indicates that the best thing for the couple to do is to be involved together with the baby care.

Apparently this is fairly common advice known to people who have been through this, my question why are issues of money, cheating,sex etc given so much airtime and this most powerful male trauma ( at least according to Mr Asasewura) not given the attention it requires.
Other advice is don't have a baby till you guys have had like 2 years of being together
I'm am eager to hear from any readers out there on views on how to deal with this better and also to hear other experiences.
Thank you for reading, and say a prayer for the Asasewura's and other such couples :)
Spread the word to newly weds and prevent an Asasewura type trauma from breaking up a happy home.

Sent from my iPad

Anger....is a fascinating emotion. It's largely considered to be negative by society (and me) but after something that happened to me recently I'm beginning review my thoughts on this. I kinda wonder why I had never bothered to look at it from a different perspective.

Anger....is a fascinating emotion. It's largely considered to be negative by society (and me) but after something that happened to me recently I'm beginning review my thoughts on this. I kinda wonder why I had never bothered to look at it from a different perspective.
Anger bears an uncanny resemblance to fire. An element considered a bad master but a very good servant. Its taken me a while to realize that like fire, anger when controlled properly is a necessary and I daresay positive emotion
So I took a trip into my mental archive to look for moments when anger has provided positive fuels
I have seen footballers perform at their best when something has angered them in a match
Again our Lord Jesus rid his church of opportunists and market place tendencies with his first display of anger
I have seen people consumed by love and act foolishly till anger sweeps away the crippling impact of mushy love and "frees" them
I have seen children, spouses, friends etc translate anger into a will to achieve or succeed. Absentee parents, wrong words exchanged, etc etc are examples of how the spark could be created. Anger in these situations is easily translated into a will to prove the "detractor" wrong or simply show i can do this by myself
So why do we all view anger in only its negative. Truth is this piece is inspired by anger, I am seething within but a calm exterior allows me to channel the energy created by this anger
I think there are different types of anger;
For the purposes of this piece identified 3 main types:
What I call WILDFIRE, burns quickly, powerfully, generates a lot of destruction in a short period . It's weaknesses are that it's obvious, loud and lacks staying power. Usually easy and quick to ignite and short-lived. Usually full of adrenalin, brought on during sporting activities, debates of any kind. Typically masculine
Then the VOLCANO; quite dangerous, unexpected unless the causes are being observed. It could be brewing under the surface for days, weeks, months and when it finally erupts it could last for a short or long period depending on planning. Also destructive and a bit more dangerous because it's activities are sometimes planned. It could erupt unexpectedly especially when the recipient can't take the taunts anymore. Both Masculine and feminine. Also has adrenaline with a bit of thinking behind it
SLOWBURN; deliberate, slow, planned and totally deadly. This type of anger is a paradox because it's patient....it builds up into a crescendo. You rarely or never see it coming, never forewarns you. It's definitely feminine ;)
I believe this is the most dangerous, because it's the most deliberate. Slow burn is interestingly not the reason why "anger" has such a bad reputation because it's usually disguised, however when slow burn results in an action it's usually malicious and negative - but not always- there are situations where slow burn is good because it gives the angry person time to think and probably step off the anger trip. Sometimes the reason for anger is removed or reduced over time
So back to my earlier question; in these 3 definitions does anger have any positivity?
I say yes again because it does the most important job of generating attention. In times of monotony, stubbornness, disregard etc sometimes the right dose of anger properly used and controlled when need be can drive a change in behavior; from your children, your colleagues, friends etc etc
One of the interesting things to note about anger is the moment after....so the moment after could be a minute later, 24 hrs later or much longer depending on how bad :)
However when anger is dissipated what are you left with;
Regret, relieve, pain, calmness or a mix of some of these emotions. This is primarily dependent on your actions and the results of your actions not dependent on the anger itself.
I will end by saying that we should therefore control anger and use it to achieve desirable results and emotions especially when the "moment" is over but by all means be ANGRY sometimes not all the time though

Sent from my iPad